I’m not sure if these ads are airing in South Africa – I dont watch much TV… But when I was in the states these ‘Hi, I’m a Mac… Hi, I’m a PC’ ads were all the rage. They’re really very clever and the advertising company that came up with the ideas for these definately needs a pat on the back for their creative work here. **sidenote – I wonder if they use Mac or PC?**

Anyways, the basic scenario is that Mac and PC are personified by 2 guys – PC as a neatly dressed geeky looking older guy and Mac as the cool-looking, younger actor from ‘Dodgeball’ – he’s the guy who gets planted in the face with a wrench by Rip Torn, and who gets the cheerleader at the end…

These two play out various scenarios, each skit ending with PC looking like a tool and Mac looking unassumingly cool. They’re very cleverly worked out and they definately get the point across.

So get a cup of coffee, take 20minutes and check out these video’s…

• Flashback
• Computer Cart
• Security
• Tech Support
• Sabotage
• Surgery
• Goodwill
• Gift Exchange
• Sales Pitch
• Meant for Work
• Counselor
• Better Results
• Self Pity
• Accident
• Angel/Devil
• Trust Mac
• Out of the Box
• Touche
• Work vs Home
• Viruses
• Restarting
• Better
• iLife
• Network

You can also view them on the Mac site… Enjoy

Where do I start when I have nothing to say?!?!? Actually it’s not that I have nothing to say, it’s more that I have nothing to say anything about. Specifically around this movie that is. Other than that I have a crap load to say, but I don’t think any of you can handle the sheer power of it all. So i’ll proceed by saying nothing about this movie.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

* blink blink* * blink blink*

c

_____________

Ok so that didn’t work. Here’s what I have to say about New World ::

To sum it up in a collection of words i’d pick the following :: Cold, empty and hollow. Oh and crap. Great marketing and not badly packaged but very little to back it up, not much unlike it’s male Star, Colon Furrow. Apparently he’s quite well packaged indeed. But seriously this movie lacked ANY of the ambiance that you think it would have. And it’s a shame too, because it contained some really interesting imagery that wasn’t played on nearly enough, an intense dynamic between little Indian girl and Hairy Irish guy and some other really depressing crap. I actually thought that this movie had left it’s mark on me but then realised that it was just drool on my shirt from when I dozed off after about 20 seconds. Anyhoo, I wish all the best to the little Indian girl coz she actually can act. As for Collin, I guess we could blame bad directing and such, but now that the last two movies he’s acted in, which both had potential to be HUGE, have been miserable bores, I guess we can easily blame him instead. Footlong or not. It’s an obvious pattern anyway. Alexander should have been MASSIVE! But it sucked. New World had the potential to be like, The Beach 2. But it was more like slushy marsh. It’s gotta be Colon’s fault. All in favour say :: AI! ::

Ai :: I though you would.

Peace outty

Bwahahahaha. It had to catch up with him in the end. Finally the religious midget has lost the plot. With his gnarley teeth and nose that makes him taller when he lies down, Tom Cruise is in the front of a race for the worst actor. Other entrants include:

Will Ferrell – Bewitched

Jamie Kennedy – Son of the Mask (what were they thinking)

WWE’s “The Rock” Dwayne Johnson – Doom

Rob Schneider – Deuce Bigalow, European Gigolo (There are few fans for the “portuguese breakfast” then)

And the winner is… The HIGHEST PAID MAN IN HOLLYWOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tom is nominated for his inability to portray a working class father in “War of the Worlds”. Personally I liked the movie, but for some reason when I left I went out and bought a Ford and had to drink a Pepsi and a Budweiser. That’s right friends, unrivaled product placement. I also couldn’t figure out how with all the death, an entire family survived just by staying at home. And then their relatives rocked up… Anyhoo, Tom didn’t seem “working class” for even a second, damn straight, but it’s the the off-screen stupor that has left him in the pot with the a bunch of amateur actors. Quite an insult indeed for the “highest paid” man in “The Wood” to be listed with B grade actors like The Rock and Jamie Kennedy. Maybe Toms next roll should see him donning tights and battling evil in the WWE ring. Rethpek. Personally I love Will Ferrell and Rob Schneider, they have such depth and portray such strong emotion. Will Ferrells role as “Mugatu” in Zoolander is what has inspired me to become an actor. I feel that his role in Zoolander alone should have won him an Oscar. Not to mention other moving performances in :: Night at the Roxbury :: Wedding Crashers :: Old School :: etc.

Anyhoo, the religious midget gets my vote for worst actor without a doubt. Any comments?

Daleo Outty

So I finally saw Narnia. And there are a couple of things i’d like to say…

On arriving at the theatre we found a whole range of kewl movies to watch but because it’s almost off circuit and it looked like a special effects kinda flick we decided to go ahead. Despite having to choose seats in a room not much bigger than Sadams underground hide-away we felt relatively safe with out choice. Now having been born in the 70′s, I had already seen the old animated version and knew the story, so perhaps I was a little biased from the start.

The movie started with captivating war scenes. Heavy bombers taking out towns and people fleeing while houses exploded. KEWL! But then the kids get shipped away, and blah blah. My first thought was, these kids can’t really act. My next thought was, actually these kids can act. My next thought was, damn that chicks lips are HUGE! My next thought involved a white beach, umbrella cocktails, my girlfriend, a bikini and rubber gloves. But I’d rather not talk about that.

What did all this mean? Well it meant that besides a really interesting performance by Georgie Henley, the littlest kid, my mind was already drifting only 10 minutes into the movie. Bummer.

Anyhoo, the rest of the movie was entertaining at best but i’d like to site one or two inconsistencies that distracted me completely.

1. When the kids are fleeing from the wolves and they reach the river, why did they not just take the same route that wolves did to beat them to the other side?
2. Where the hell was Michael Jackson? I expected them to find him hiding in the closet…
3. When applying the magic drops that heal “every” wound to her brother, why did the cut on his lip not go away?
4. Is Father Xmas gay? Otherwise what the hell is he doing in the closet?

So as you can tell, this movie had my riveted, to other things. Things in my head. And that’s dangerous.

Oh, one other thing, there’s a lion at the crowning ceremony with a penciled pair of glasses and a beard. Can anyone explain?

Peace

Being single and not having experienced the torment joy of having children of my very own, I’m never fazed about what’s on the circuit that might not be suitable for children to watch. To be honest, I’ve never given it a second thought, until now.

I recently read that Britain has declared the new Harry Potter movie “unsuitable for under-12s to watch alone”. Silly question… Wasn’t the concept of Harry Potter produced with the juvenile market in mind? Granted, Harry Potter, like most of the animated comedies & “kiddies” movies out there, could have shocking scenes, humour or innuendos aimed over the heads of the young minds and give us “older” generation a good few chuckles or jolts instead. However, I still feel that if they make a movie, which is going to cause young ones to want to watch it, it should be correctly suited. Well that’s how my mind works anyhow!

I remember the day (a long, long time ago) when the possibility of me going to see a movie was dependent on the age restriction. Now, I truly do believe that those are put in place for a reason. I believe it’s for the protection of young, developing minds (fat load of help it did mine). I feel that watching a movie with “moderate fantasy violence, threat and horror” can have a negative effect on a 12-year-old mind whether it is on the conscious or subconscious. On the other side of the coin we all know that there isn’t a single person out there who has strictly adhered to the little number in that little triangle on the movie preview board thingy (I don’t know what the technical term is for the movie preview board thingy).

Anyhow, I just don’t grasp the concept of the movie industry creating a movie directed and the younger market, but then stipulating that they require the accompaniment of a parent. To me it just seems as though that defeats the whole object.

Lata…

Dang i am so ready for this one, the first movie i regret to say (coz i see tons of movies) is the only one that came remotely close to being as much of a mind job for me as the first Matrix flick. “Now now” you may warn me, “don’t get too psyched about a sequel”. I see your warning and I raise you a warning – they’ve gone with ::
Underworld EVOLUTION :: for the title of their sequel. Evolution?!?!? What were they thinking, it just stinks “B” grade all the way to the mausoleum.

Should we prepare for the worst? Perhaps, but it does have all the kewl partially unknown actors from the first movie in it, namely:
Kate Beckinsale, Michael Sheen, Tony Curran, Shane Brolly and Scott Speedman.

Ergo, visa vie concordingly (i don’t know what the hell i’m saying):
It’s a sequel to a vampire movie
15-0
It has a bad title
30-0
Same great actors
30-15
Kate Beckinsale
30 all
But if it has the same actors they have to somehow substantiate with a presumably terrible soap-opera-typical plot that they somehow survived or came back from the err, undead, or even had undead long lost evil werewolf brothers
40-30, hush falls over the crowd.
But it’s a vampire movie sequel……………
Deuce
Wait none of this is making any sense.

Whatever the case, I can’t wait

I worshipped the ground the Shrek walked on and I laughed along with the aquatic antics of Nemo and his paraniod dad, but I must admit that we have a new CGI movie winner.

Madagascar was, in my opinion a brilliant example of how versatile CGI movies are. The satirical humor and shameless ripping off of other movies was brilliantly achieved. The voices of Chris Rock, Ben Stiller, David Schwimmer and Jada Pinkett-Smith couldn’t have been better casted. David Schwimmer could have had more dialogue – I found myself wishing he’d speak more because every comment out of his mouth, or rather, out of the giraffe’s mouth was fantastically witty and got a laugh everytime.

The token mascots, in this case the Penguins, did a good job throughout the movie in providing comic relief to an already side splitting movie.

The Plot: Chris Rock’s character gets it into his head (by the penguins) to go and enjoy the wild. He breaks out and his friends, when the realize he’s gone, chase after him and get themselves all banished to the wild. En route however, the penguins’ antics result in the 4 friends ending up on the island of Madagascar. However the wild has unexpected effect on Ben Stiller (the lion).

Look out for, “American Beauty” and “Chariots of Fire”

See it, it’ll make sense.

I saw Batman this weekend. NEWS FLASH! – BATMAN WAS TRAINED BY NINJA! And I didn’t know. How kewl is that?

And not the good dictator-assasinating-freedom-fighter Ninja kind either. Like Leonardo, Donatello and Michaelangelo. These were sinister, agro, meeeaaan Ninja. Just like you find here:
Worlds best Ninja Website . But Batman rises above man, oh yes he does, because he has intergrity, style and brains. Thank goodness they didn’t use Tom Cruise as Batman, imagine the hold that evil vigilante murderous Ninja would have had on someone retarded enough to become a scientologist. We’d all be done for…

But, I gotta tell you this movie has everything. Awesome imagery, an interesting bad guy, cool gadgets, cars, caves, bullet-proof underwear and angry Ninja. There really is no space for anything else. Except maybe a scene where Batman won’t give Katie the remote, or something else equally as manly that guys like us can actually do ourselves and then feel a little like batman in some way. A slightly incontinuous plot however. We all know batmans parents were killed by the joker as seen in previous movies. *By the way if you’re gonna watch the movie and didn’t know that batmans parents were killed in an alley way by a mugger that turned out to be Jack Nicholson (the joker) – don’t read that last line (or this one). It was also difficult trying to follow the extra close up fight scenes. Oh and of course there’s always the retarding effect that the Bat mask has on Christian Bales face. Unfortunate, it seems ok when he’s not talking but as soon as he opens his mouth he does look like he’s been kicked in the face by angry Ninja one too many times. Yes, yes enough about the Ninja I know. I also think that his batshorts are too tight as indicated by the extreme gruff painful sound in his voice when he puts his getup on. It’s either that or he’s trying to sound more manly to cover up the fact that he’s wearing tights. Either way, it’s not too distracting and Batman is still a KICKING movie. I look forward to the sequel which is Katie Homeless due to her Scientology/Tom Cruise distraction/self-destruction. However I do hope that the sequel contains more modern day characters that we can relate to that are equally as sinister and deserving of a chronic face pounding. People i’d like to see batman fighting next:
Bob Mugabe
That Afrikaans guy that reads the SABC 2 news (coz he’s been around so long and looks so exactly the same that he must be a robot)
Paris Hilton
George W
Oprah
Ben Afleck
Frodo

Go see this movie now. But not before Mr and Mrs Smith…

Brilliant! Finally the boys at Dreamworks have signed on the dotted line and agreed to support the release of the new, full-length Wallace & Gromit Movie. Jeffrey Katzenberg has confirmed that it’ll be released around October 2005. Sweet.

Initially the film was due for release over Thanksgiving period, 2004 but so much for that idea! I reckon, more so than real-actor movies, these kinds of films can be forgiven for going a bit overtime. I mean stop-motion photography – can there be a more painstaking process of film making?

24 Frames for 1 second of film. If the movie is say, around an hour, twenty minutes long, that equates to around 115200 separate positions that the delicate clay models have to be positioned in and then images that have to be collated and edited into a final movie. Thats a lot of work!

Theres still some undecision with regards to the final title of movie. “The Great Vegetable Plot” or “Wallace & Gromit in The Were Rabbit”… Until future notice however, Dreamworks is simply referring to it as “Wallace & Gromit: The Movie”.
Thats it boys, keep it simple. Kinda brings to mind some weird imagery of the potential storyline doesn’t it? Well according to USA Today, its a vegetarian horror movie. Wallace & Gromit are hired to investigate a spate of savage attacks vegetable gardens. So I guess a kind of Friday the 13th VS The Cooking Channel kind of plot? Hmmm sounds interesting to say the least.

Me, I’ve always been a fan of the Wallace & Gromit movies so I’ll definately be there on opening night.

The Saga ends!

And i’m thankful for it every moment that I live. That’s enough hype and disappointment for another 3 generations. Amusing as it was with it’s battle scenes and elaborate settings “Revenge of the thithys” wath abtholutely abthurd. Thorry, it’s that Sith thing that always confuses me… I’m sure that’s why they were so mad too.

Anyway, while watching the movie I realised that my attention was constantly misplaced and finally figured what the problem was:

The incredible acting skills of this actor could have been beaten only by someone of an extremely high calibre, someone like Steven Segal. Come to think of it even Yoda seems to be a better actor, but then he has been in the business for much longer.

Parts to watch out for (without giving anything away):
Skywalker to the Chancellor – “You know the dark side?”
Darth Frankenstein’s reaction to some bad news about Patta-cake
And my favourite – “Is Ani alright?” (Well actually I cut his arms and legs off and his stumps are on fire, but he’ll be fine)

Enjoy