4 Nov 2005 • Written by Mark
- Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
- A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.”
- Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
- A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
- A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: “A beer please, and one for the road.”
- Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: “Does this taste funny to you?”
- “Doc, I can’t stop singing ‘The Green, Green Grass of Home.’” “That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome.” “Is it common?” ” Well, It’s Not Unusual.”
- Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, “I was artificially inseminated this morning.” “I don’t believe you,” says Dolly “It’s true, no bull!” exclaims Daisy.
- An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
- Deja Moo: The feeling that you’ve heard this bull before.
- I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.
- A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, “Doctor, doctor, I can’t feel my legs!” The doctor replied, “I know you can’t – I’ve cut off your arms!”
- I went to a seafood disco last week…and pulled a mussel.
- What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
- Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, “Is the bar tender here?”