Icing an injury - A thing you didn’t think you never knew!

…So there I was minding my own business, just innocently a-grindin’-away at a muncipal buildings staircase on my little rollerblades when suddenly !!! SNAP !!!. Left knee tendons partially torn. That smarts I thought, $@#$%@%#$ I said. So I went for assistance to the medi-clinic. At the hospital, after twisting my little leg hither and thither like a sinewy peice of biltong the doctor gave me a thumbs up and said “put an ice-pack on that”… “Tendons are torn…” he said. I was just glad that I never shattered anything. Anything other than my shorts that is. So I went home and iced the joint for a solid 12 hours with a frozen pack of peas. Works great, save that trickle of pea juice that constantly runs down your leg. Like when your in trouble in primary school. But maybe that was just me. Anyhoo, I thought I had cured myself with my disciplined icing technique. “Lye that way, turn this way, elevate a little, don’t move, not even to scratch coz it’s not even near the injury, twist a little more aaaand, HOLD IT, got it, injury iced if I stay exactly like this for 12 hours, okay where’s that remote at? You get the picture::

But here’s why i’m upset (again) with the system. HOW LONG EXACTLY DO YOU ICE AN INJURY? The longer the better I thought. As can be seen by my wet sheets at 4am from melted ice packs. At least thats what I usually blame it on. But if you think you know how long you should ice an injury raise your hand now, and then press your face to your monitor so that we can see exactly who you are. Good then.

After years of icing injuries I finally found out something that I didn’t think I never knew. This is how it works::

When you sustain an injury of such a nature, that is, a sprain, a rip a tear, etc, the injury bleeds. Nasty. So in order to stop the bleeding and reduce inflammation, you ice it. Good job, bleeding slows down and then stops. BUT :: If you ice the injury for more than 12 minutes… that’s 12 exactly not 11 and not 13, 10 is right out… What happens is the temperature of that area drops below the bodies acceptable level and so in order to heat it up, IT SEND MORE BLOOD THERE! The very thing you’re tryna stop! More bleeding! So if you’re unfortunate enough to have such an injury don’t make the mistake of icing for more than 12 minutes.

Which brings me to my point. What the hell do they teach you at school? Everybody should know the 12 minute icing rule. Shouldn’t they teach you that at school? Consider, in the real world what would you rather be prepared for::

Treating an serious injury OR knowing what year Bartholomew Dias sailed around the cape of good hope just in case you ever get on Who wants to be a millionaire?

So with that I motion to replace the current school syllabus with the following:

Subjects that can stay::

English - can stay

Xhosa/Zulu - can stay

Geography - can stay

Maths - can stay

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Subjects that must be replaced::Â

Afrikaans - What to when being hijacked/mugged/assaulted/bounced

History - Treating serious injuries/wounds

Science - Handling members of the opposite sex carefully

Biology - How to handle a break-up or a lost puppy/kitten

Accounting - Coping with being retrenched/fired or replaced by someone more stupid than you

Business economics - Hang over remedies that work

Gym class - Calling in sick convincingly

You know, just really practical stuff, instead of the old, “name 5 advantages of the seller reselling to the buyer who’s reselling to a seller” crap. Stuff you can really use. So there you have it. I hope all you who have semi-dangerous sports or hobbies will find the 12 minute icing rule useful.

Peace outty

Daleo

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