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It’s a pink shoe day: Girly girly talk

Hello YellowLlama readers :) I’m Hayley Redford: newest addition to the Yellow-Llama.com Bloggers. Considering that this is my first Blog entry excuse the drastically boring comments from my behalf - I’m still getting into this.

Please note I am a total girl – which may bring shock and disappointment to my dear friend – blogger Jess – who will probably condemn me for my overly pink and pretty blog entry today! But it’s come to my attention that men are clueless yes ahem all of you! My dearest sweet hunky and not to mention absolutely delicious boyfriend keeps wondering what girls talk about – well how far relationship talk goes - so here I will tell you… the absolute truth. Baby I’m sorry but we don’t talk about age old cupcake recipes, the viscosity of dishwasher soap or the strength of that fantastic new Harpic toilet cleaner…

We talk fat: all kinds - lumpy, bumpy, sugarcoated, orange peel fat! We spot it on everyone – Heidi Klum, Rosanne Bar (is that here name?), our friends – you and me! And we are not nice about it. Do you guys seriously think we like beer boeps? Or that extra attachment on your arm – yes the part where your muscle is missing! Well we talk about it – we exchange ideas and yes even compare our boyfriend’s ever growing lump (and yes we talk about your ever growing ‘lumps’ all the time).

We talk love: We do that fantastic girly exchange of arguments – with flawless detailed descriptions of every word boyfriends use down to the buts and ands. We mostly nit pick every action the man takes – yes that’s down to the process of which you get undressed. Please never underestimate the mouth of a woman – you may be an enemy to more than her alone.

We talk hair: Back hair, chest hair, tummy hair, neck hair – all hair. We talk about it, we cry about it and we have nightmares about it. Kindly note to all men who may stumble across this: Unibrows scare the living shit out of women.

We talk Sex: Remember last night when you said ahh instead of ooo. Yip we know about it. Men underwear, men seduction, men noises, men capabilities men incapabilities – we know it All. Next time you boast about your studly perfection at a party and all the girls look in disbelief – don’t be surprised – we know how you measure up - yip down to the exact centimeter.

We talk fantasies: Paris Hilton, Carmen Elactra blah blah blah have nothing on what a girls mind imagines. That’s all I’m prepared to say on this matter - I must remember my boyfriend is reading this ;)

We talk clothes: Our clothes, her clothes and your clothes! What the hell are those tidy whities doing on my bedroom floor?

And we talk insecurities: Our hair, our bum, our voice, our freckles, our pimples – we talk about them – we cry about them – we have nightmares about them etc etc etc

Okay so that’s about it maybe once in a while we talk news and politics that’s of course if Britney Spears is Pregnant or Martha Stewart is running for president!

Woman talk:

• Fat: 8 %
• Love: 18%
• Sex: 32%
• Fantasies: 10 %
• Hair: 5%
• Clothes: 8%
• Insecurities: 18%
• News and others: 1%

PS. Woman Please don’t blast me and tell me about your hourly conversation on saving the Whales or confusing voter D.A vs ANC dillemas.