Narnia

So I finally saw Narnia. And there are a couple of things i’d like to say…

On arriving at the theatre we found a whole range of kewl movies to watch but because it’s almost off circuit and it looked like a special effects kinda flick we decided to go ahead. Despite having to choose seats in a room not much bigger than Sadams underground hide-away we felt relatively safe with out choice. Now having been born in the 70’s, I had already seen the old animated version and knew the story, so perhaps I was a little biased from the start.

The movie started with captivating war scenes. Heavy bombers taking out towns and people fleeing while houses exploded. KEWL! But then the kids get shipped away, and blah blah. My first thought was, these kids can’t really act. My next thought was, actually these kids can act. My next thought was, damn that chicks lips are HUGE! My next thought involved a white beach, umbrella cocktails, my girlfriend, a bikini and rubber gloves. But I’d rather not talk about that.

What did all this mean? Well it meant that besides a really interesting performance by Georgie Henley, the littlest kid, my mind was already drifting only 10 minutes into the movie. Bummer.

Anyhoo, the rest of the movie was entertaining at best but i’d like to site one or two inconsistencies that distracted me completely.

1. When the kids are fleeing from the wolves and they reach the river, why did they not just take the same route that wolves did to beat them to the other side?
2. Where the hell was Michael Jackson? I expected them to find him hiding in the closet…
3. When applying the magic drops that heal “every” wound to her brother, why did the cut on his lip not go away?
4. Is Father Xmas gay? Otherwise what the hell is he doing in the closet?

So as you can tell, this movie had my riveted, to other things. Things in my head. And that’s dangerous.

Oh, one other thing, there’s a lion at the crowning ceremony with a penciled pair of glasses and a beard. Can anyone explain?

Peace