The Dentist - Cerec 3d

Ok so I just got back from the dentist. The left side of my face is numb and so is my wallet. From injections and shock respectively. So pleose forgove me if my spellnig is bad. The up side is, my dentist has a tv mounted in the ceiling so I got to catch up on 2 hours (2 hours) of VH1 :: 2 hours. Nice. Stevie Wonder kept me smiling and the Michael Jackson special was rad, but Gloria Gaynor made me wanna cry. But then maybe it was the 4ft needle that I could see sticking out from my left gum. Nah, definitely Gloria. I thought I hated the song, until I saw the video. It’s great comic relief. What was it about the 70’s that every video had to have a chick in disco spandex rollerskating around on a wooden floor? Lysergic Acid Diethylamide maybe…

So i’m light headed and a little mif that my body parts are starting to be replaced with foreign substitutes, coz I’m not that old. I feel a bit like Darth Vader. But he had kewl robotry (that a word?) done. I er, ahem, didn’t get anything as kewl, mine, er was, err, porcelain. Yes thats’ right porcelain. Laugh it up, they’re slowly rebuilding me with porcelain. I’m feeling more like Darth Gayder. It just seems so wrong. Porcelain is for toilet bowls and little dolls with ugly dresses and painted eyelashes. Why couldn’t he have used something more manly. Like volcanic rock or C4 or plutomium or something. Hell I woulda settled for Courtney Loves chiseled kidney stones rather. (ewww)

Anyhoo, an interesting process i might add. This machine scans your tooth and displays a 3d image not unlike a picture of a crater on the moon (MY teeth look like that anyway, and that’s why I’M at the dentist). The dentist then draws lines around the areas he wants to fill, just like outlining an image in photoshop (reflecting on my photoshop skills at that point shattered all dreams I ever had of becoming a dentist) and then the machine uses diamonds to cut the *ahem* porcelain and then he sticks it in (the tooth ok, he’s not that kind of doc, although I did black out for a few minutes…). All done. 2 hours. By the time he was finished I was starving so I went to Pick n Pay and bought a slice of Pizza but a seagull stole ALL the cheese off of it in a well practised high speed fly by. The little bastard. So I drove over him with a trolley and finished him off with a half-nelson. (Hey, the seagulls name was Nelson!) Not really, (actually I think his name was Steven), but I might have socked him if I could have moved quicker. The friction created from my lip dragging on the ground slowed me down too much. Now I just have roasties on my lip and a headache :: like Mic Jagger on Monday mornings (oh and I haven’t been able to negotiate any sympathy coz my girlfriend hasn’t called me yet which hurts oh so much more). Anyway, just ignore the last 3 paragraphs, it’s the injections talking. I’m outty, have some unfinished business :: Anyone have any seagull recipes?