The Top 10

Top 10 Reason to go to work naked

1. Your boss is always yelling, “I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00!”
2. Can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan.
3. “I’d love to chip in, but I left my wallet in my pants.”
4. To stop those creepy guys in Marketing from looking down your blouse.
5. You want to see if it’s like the dream.
6. So that with a little help from Muzak you can add “Exotic Dancer” to your exaggerated resume.
7. People stop stealing your pens after they’ve seen where you keep them.
8. Diverts attention from the fact that you also came to work drunk.
9. Gives “bad hair day” a whole new meaning.
10. No one steals your chair

Top 10 ways to tell someone their fly is unzipped

1. The cucumber has left the salad.
2. Someone tore down the wall, and your Pink Floyd is hanging out.
3. Your soldier ain’t so unknown now.
4. Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bells.
5. Elvis Junior has LEFT the building!
6. Mini Me is making a break for the escape pod.
7. You’ve got your fly set for “Monica” instead of “Hillary”.
8. You’ve got a security breach at Los Pantalones.
9. I’m talking about Shaft, can you dig it?
10. Men are From Mars, women can see your winky

Top 10 ways to tell if you’ve joined a Redneck HMO

1. Your Viagra prescription includes a Popsicle stick and some duct tape.
2. The only 100% covered expense is embalming.
3. Your Prozac comes in colors and has little “m”s on each pill.
4. Preventive Care Coverage includes “an apple a day”.
5. Your primary care physician is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month.
6. The Lone Star Bar and Grill is an approved pharmacy.
7. The only proctologist lists his address as Rotorooter.
8. The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.
9. Directions to the Dr.’s office include “Take a left when you enter the trailer park”.
10. The annual breast exam is conducted at Hooter’s