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Things I Learned from Indiana Jones
- If you throw a whip over any type of overhang, it will stick on the first shot and hold your body weight.
- Nazis are bad.
- Germans are really up on their biblical history.
- Egyptians are surprisingly good sidekicks… and a lot more helpful than little Asian kids.
- Always have a monkey around to eat the fruit before you do.
- Revolvers always beat swords.
- Airplane propellers beat revolvers.
- A solid gold statue weighs as much as two handfuls of sand.
- If you are at a party and someone says “Hey, let’s open up the Ark of the Covenant,” get the hell out of there.
- Never leave your hat behind. Ever.
- Never look down.
- Monkey brains and Jell-O are nearly interchangeable.
- Spiders are okay. Rats? No problem. But snakes…
- X really does mark the spot.
- There’s always another way out.
- Metal Medallion + Open Flame = Cool Looking Hand Scar.
- Geritol and ibuprofen are miracle drugs.
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