You Might Be From Benoni, Uitenhage, Despatch or Boksburg If…

• Your standard of living improves when you go camping.
• Your prenuptial agreement mentions chickens.
• You have jacked up your home to look for a dog.
• Your neighbor has ever asked to borrow a quart of beer.
• There is a belch on your answering machine greeting.
• You have rebuilt a carburetor while sitting on the commode.
• None of the tires on your van are the same size.
• You hold the hood of the car with your head while you work on it.
• Your town put the new garbage truck in the Christmas parade.
• Your local beauty salon also fixes cars.
• Your doghouse and your living room have the same shag carpet.
• You’ve ever slow danced in wimpy.
• Starting your car involves popping the hood.
• Your garbage man is confused about what goes and what stays.
• You whistle at women in church.
• You actually wear shoes your dog brought home.
• You’ve been in a fist fight at a yard sale.
• You carry a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach the kids in the back seat.